I've joked about giving this baby an eviction notice when the time was right, but then I actually found one online! I couldn't have phrased it better than this:
BABY EVICTION NOTICE
I, the Landlord (Mommy), am issuing a notice for EVICTION. Tenant (Baby) will have to comply and promptly vacate the premises, or wait until authorization for removal by physician. After which, he will be removed from the property by induction.
The Tenant (Baby) is being evicted due to breach of contract and destruction of property. Expansions only to the FRONT of the house, within reasonable limits, were discussed. Not only have these limits been exceeded, but additions to the back and sides of the house were also made without approval from the Landlord (Mommy).
Remodeling and gutting of the home was never approved, nor was changing the initial layout and base structure. Due to the damage by the Tenant (Baby), the foundation has been compromised, and the structural integrity of the house is questionable. The Landlord (Mommy) has also received numerous complaints about frequent nightly disturbances.
If the Tenant (Baby) doesn’t comply with the notice it will result in an immediate and forceful removal at the discretion of a physician and the Landlord (Mommy).
Seriously...the nightly disturbances are what's killing me! I'm trying to build my sleep reserves and it is just not happening. If it isn't a congested head, it's some weird night panic waking me up. At least when the kid is out, I'll be waking up for a less annoying reason like a poopy diaper or a late night snack. As of this Friday, he has 4 more weeks. So baby...consider yourself served!